Tuesday, May 17, 2011

On Bad Days and the Hell that is my school.

Bad days. They happen to everybody. I get that. But today I felt the worst that I can remember in a loong time. It was just really difficult. It clicked in my brain today that I don't have any friends at school. And I began to cry. As I sat in my desk in Spanish class doing a word search Period 3. Big fat tears.

I feel so lonely, but I don't know what to do. Everybody says to just be yourself, but apparently at SHS, that's not really good enough. I mean, I have people I talk to in class and say hi to in hallways. I have people I sit with at lunch and text, but I don't think I've ever hung out with somebody outside of school. It hurts. Badly. I dread going to school and I can't stand it. So today I decided: I'm DONE.

I'm going to Community College in the Fall. I don't give a flying crap what anyone says (I already got the okay from mi mama, and that's really all that matters). I'm done feeling this way. I'm done being in a place that makes me feel bad about myself, and honestly, sorry for myself too. I don't need it. I'm there to learn, but I'm not anymore. I mean, I am, but it's just not worth it anymore.

People may be wondering: What about Senior YEAR?!?! I'll get my senior portraits taken this summer (by the beautiful and talented Maggie) and maybe a graduation party. I'll transfer during my sophomore year to either Franciscan, DeSales, Christendom or someplace else. But I'm done with SHS.

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