Saturday, June 23, 2012

Life's too short.

For those who know me, you know I cringe whenever someone uses the term 'YOLO'. But that's not what this blog post is about.

This post is about a friend of mine who has fought the good fight against an inoperable brain tumor for the past years. He won in the best way someone with an inoperable brain tumor could: by passing away peacefully, with his family at his side.

He was only 19.

I knew Quinn through my church, his younger brother was in Sunday School classes with my sister, and he was a year older than me. I can still remember him being a ridiculously goofy kid, and my mom, who subbed for his fourth grade CCD class, saying how he was the only nice one. As I got older, we never really got closer. When I became an altar server, I was put in his group. I was only nine at the time, but I remember him being really funny and making me laugh a lot. I was thirteen when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Although I didn't know him well, I remember being terrified. Quinn and I crossed paths quite often (pretty easy when you live in a town like mine) and he always had a smile. Always. Even as he suffered through chemo and countless other treatments, he always had a smile and a kind word. He was so full of joy.

Quinn taught me lessons that I never thought I needed to know, but now that I look back, I realize I did. Life's too short to live out the 'YOLO' mindset. When you're on your death bed, you're gonna regret stuff. It's life. But do you honestly want to regret doing something as stupid as drinking underage or doing drugs? How about regretting not climbing to the top of Mount Everest? Because I'm pretty sure that on your death bed, you're not going to be thinking, "Damn, I wish I smoked that weed that was offered to me back in high school and then got drunk and had sex with everything with legs." I hope that on my death bed, I'll have no regrets, that I'll have done everything I ever dreamed of doing, that I loved enough, and that I became the person I was meant to be. But chances are, I'm going to have regrets. But I know I'm not going to regret becoming best friends with someone who really changed me. I won't regret having the relationship I have with my mom. I won't regret being in plays, or reading a little too much. I won't regret being called a nerd.

But I do regret doing the destructive things I've done before.

As I look through the facebook posts being made about Quinn, I see one thing that every post has in common: They all loved him. Everyone has something to say about one thing he did at one point, something he probably thought was nothing. Everybody keeps talking about how full of joy he was, and his smile. And all I can hope is that one day, I can make a difference in someone's life like Quinn made a difference in so many.

RIP Quinn, and thank you.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Graduation pictures

my friend Allen and I

The balloons my dad got me!

my Physiology teacher and I.

My cap! Looks kinda Dr. Seussy. :)

Getting my diploma!

My creative writing teacher and I.

My best friend Gina and I :)

before the ceremony.

walking in

my friend Iliana and I.

my sister Sarah and I before the ceremony.

my English teacher and I

Mommy and Me!

We have such a special relationship :P

Class of 2012! WE DID IT!

my friend Tory and I.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Twas the night before graduation...

And all through my brain,
The only song that I could sing,
was 'Pomp and Circumstance'.

Yes, ladies and gents, tomorrow, at 6pm Eastern Standard Time, I will be graduating from high school. I'll shake my assistant principal's hand, smile at the camera, and toss my cap in the air, nobody actually understanding how happy I am. I don't know if I understand just how happy I am. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm excitednervoushappysadomgi'moldaahhh.

And I'm proud. I'm proud that I did it, and I did it with my head tall. And when I smile at the camera, I'll show that picture to my kids and say, "I almost didn't do it, but I'm glad I did".

And I am.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Thnks fr th Mmrs

Today was my last day of high school. I've been counting down the days since they announced the date, and now that it's here, I'm obviously kinda in the mood to reminisce. First let me start off by saying that I did not want to go to school. At all. A lot of homeschoolers, when they hit highschool, want to go. That wasn't me. I'm the type of person who is absolutely terrified of change, even if I'm unhappy with my norm. But I went. And it changed me, in some ways for the worse, in other ways for the better. I made new friends, some I think are lifelong. I learned who I was and who I didn't want to be. I learned how to push myself in ways I didn't think possible. Going to school was definitely positive for me. But, it wasn't always a positive experience. In reality, a good portion of it was pretty sucky. But now that I'm done, I've never felt more proud.

I can honestly say I did it. I made it through the tears, the anger, the fear, the constant anxiety and stress. I made it through the rumors, the hardships that came with being the new kid, and staying true to myself. 

And you know what? Those weren't the best years of my life. I have faith that God has something so much bigger and better in store for me than high school. But it was a learning experience. One that I'll never forget.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Catholics for Choice

So, I'm on facebook. And I'm Catholic. And I'm pro-life. So, obviously I've heard about the notorious facebook page known as 'Catholics for Choice'. According to their website, this is what they do:
Called upon time and time again for information, advice and skills building, Catholics for Choice helps people and organizations confidently challenge the power of the Catholic hierarchy which uses every means at its disposal to punish and publicly shame Catholics who don't unquestioningly follow its edicts. The hierarchy also seeks to impose its narrow view of morality and dangerous positions on public health issues on Catholics and non-Catholics around the world.
In other words, they don't like what the Church believes it and wants to change it. In today's day and age, 'Catholic' seems almost like a slur and synonymous to "narrow minded bigot". Here's my question: Why associate with the Catholic Church unless you want to? I'm a Cradle Catholic, and I've had my doubts and disagreeements about what the Church believes (I mean, who hasn't? the Church is infamous for her stances on controversial subjects, such as birth control, abortion and gay marriage.) but when I was confirmed, I stood up and said I believed in the Church's teachings and I would stay true to her. If you are a Catholic adult, chances are you did the exact same thing.

One common arguement I've seen on the facebook page is that God gave us free will. I'm not sure how to say my thoughts politely, so I'll just say them... well duh! Yes, God gave us choice! Why did He do that? Well, I dunno, maybe it's because He loves us? Yeah, He loves us and He wants us to make the right choices! Just because God gave me free will, does that mean I can kill my mom? No? Why not? Is it because I'm abusing the gift? Probably.

I haven't seen this arguement, but that doesn't mean it's not there. The Catholic Church is against lying, and you can't tell me you don't lie. Yes, the difference is that if you are repentant and sorry, you are forgiven. Catholics for Choice are clear that they see no problem in what they're doing (even though they repeatedly slam the bishops. Hey CFC, you know what the pope is?! And if you don't follow the pope... well, that's called protesting. Or Protestant. Not that I have anything against Protestants. I have lots of Protestant friends and love them all dearly.)

So, I'm rambling now. But overall, other problems people have with the Catholic Church is that they are against women priests, gay marriage, abortion, birth control, etc. Calm down, people. There are plenty of other Christian denomenations that find no problem in the above. I've heard they're pretty welcoming (and some are also very anti-Catholic). If you want to be a part of the club, you gotta follow the rules.

That's all.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Guys... I'm old.

Ok. So, I turned 18 in August. 1st sign of being old. I voted in November 2nd sign of being old. I didn't wait up for Santa on Christmas. 3rd sign of being old. I went to prom. 4th sign of... wait, what?!

Yes, that's right folks, I, Katlyn Marie F. went to prom on Friday, June 8, 2012.

I ate, I sat awkwardly on the sidelines as everyone else danced (wallflowers for the win, yo), danced a bit (lot of awkward hip shaking and jumping up and down), and all in all had a good time.

Post prom was more fun, though. I was hypnotized. It was weird.

On Wednesday, it's my last day of high school. Some people are sad, but I can't wait to get out of there and start my life.

Speaking of starting my life... I'm going to college! On August 22nd 2012, I will be starting classes at Mount Saint Mary's University in Emmitsburg Maryland where I will be majoring in (takes deep breath) English with a minor in Creative Writing while also getting my teaching certificate. Yeah, it's a mouthful. I am soo excited. Of course I'm nervous too, but that's totally normal. I think.

So, yeah. That's basically it. I've missed blogging, so I came back.
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