On Memorial Day

In School today, our Social Studies teachers were required to talk about Memorial Day and do a presentation or activity of some sort. We actually had veterans come to the school and talk to classes, but they left after 5th period and my Civics class is 6th period. So, we got to talk about Arlington instead. We watched a video with "Arlington" by Trace Adkins playing in the background. You have NO idea how hard it was to keep my cool. It was so touching. Then we talked about the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers. Once again, close to impossible to keep my cool.

Since I've actually been to Arlington, it was kinda a refresher course. I think those who haven't been there before were bored by the presentation. But, I went there a few years back on one of my trips to DC. It was my favorite part of the trip. We stayed at the Tomb of the Unknowns for at least an hour. Just watching the Honor Guard walk his 21 steps and turn and face the city for 21 seconds. It's such an amazing thing to see, so touching and humbling to see what people are willing to do so that we can be free.

My aunt's father in law was actually buried there a couple years ago. He died in the winter, but the ground was frozen and they couldn't bury him until the Spring. I don't remember why we didn't go. I must have been sick or really  behind in school or something. But I remember him. My uncle, his son, could actually be buried there when he dies. Wow. Although I am only related to these incredible men by marriage, I am proud to call these heroes my family.

We also talked about family members in the military. On my dad's side, my grandpa, uncle and cousin were all in the Navy. On my mom's side, my Captain and uncle were in the Navy. My aunt's husband (the one who could be buried in Arlington) was in some branch of the military, Army, I think. My cousin is in the coast guard, and two of my cousins are in the Air Force.

We are a legit Military Family. And I couldn't be prouder.

God Bless America.

Really?

Last week in English class we were watching Into the Woods (which, by the way, is an AMAZING musical and you all should watch it. Just sayin'.). There's a part in the play when the Baker's wife is seduced by one of the Prince Charmings. In front of me was sitting a couple. Please keep in mind that the guy has cheated on his girlfriend at least twice, but they are still together. He also tells her that she is going to hell because she's Jewish. What a kind guy, huh?

Well, at the part when the Prince seduces the Baker's Wife, the guy leans over to his girlfriend and whispers in her ear "Whore."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pot  meet kettle???? Of course he didn't say anything about how the prince was already married and how HE seduced a married woman who kept saying no! It was the woman's fault! She was the whore!

I don't understand this. At all. This guy claims he's Christian, but pressured his girlfriend into sleeping with him and then cheated on her! And I don't mean "kissed another girl" cheating. FULL out cheating. As in, well, ahem.

Why is it always the woman's fault? Of course, the woman made a mistake by cheating on her husband, but apparently the prince didn't. I guess you can say I'm a feminist, but I'm only a feminist in the fact that I believe that women should have the right to work. I also think that if they want to be, they can be stay at home moms. I plan on doing that.

I feel so bad for this girl. Obviously she is really dependent on him, but she has told me that she and him are planning on breaking up before college. I don't understand why they are waiting that long when he obviously is only with her for one thing.

But then again, who am I but the prude that sits behind them in English class?

On Bad Days and the Hell that is my school.

Bad days. They happen to everybody. I get that. But today I felt the worst that I can remember in a loong time. It was just really difficult. It clicked in my brain today that I don't have any friends at school. And I began to cry. As I sat in my desk in Spanish class doing a word search Period 3. Big fat tears.

I feel so lonely, but I don't know what to do. Everybody says to just be yourself, but apparently at SHS, that's not really good enough. I mean, I have people I talk to in class and say hi to in hallways. I have people I sit with at lunch and text, but I don't think I've ever hung out with somebody outside of school. It hurts. Badly. I dread going to school and I can't stand it. So today I decided: I'm DONE.

I'm going to Community College in the Fall. I don't give a flying crap what anyone says (I already got the okay from mi mama, and that's really all that matters). I'm done feeling this way. I'm done being in a place that makes me feel bad about myself, and honestly, sorry for myself too. I don't need it. I'm there to learn, but I'm not anymore. I mean, I am, but it's just not worth it anymore.

People may be wondering: What about Senior YEAR?!?! I'll get my senior portraits taken this summer (by the beautiful and talented Maggie) and maybe a graduation party. I'll transfer during my sophomore year to either Franciscan, DeSales, Christendom or someplace else. But I'm done with SHS.

Dear Future Husband,

Dear Future Husband,

So, you're out there somewhere. Doing something. I might even know you, though I doubt it. But hey, who knows?

I don't know alot about you, but I do know that you love Jesus more than you love me, but you love me more than the world. You'd do anything for me, and I'd do anything for you. You're just that amazing. You can see past my face, scars and zits and all, and see the beauty within me. The beauty that apparently nobody can see.

I hate wearing makeup. I. Hate. It. But I'm wearing it anyway, just to make the world happy. And it hurts. I don't think I need to hide myself, but everyone else does. You don't think that, do you?

Well, I'll close with this:



Love Always,
Me