Life's too short.

For those who know me, you know I cringe whenever someone uses the term 'YOLO'. But that's not what this blog post is about.

This post is about a friend of mine who has fought the good fight against an inoperable brain tumor for the past years. He won in the best way someone with an inoperable brain tumor could: by passing away peacefully, with his family at his side.

He was only 19.

I knew Quinn through my church, his younger brother was in Sunday School classes with my sister, and he was a year older than me. I can still remember him being a ridiculously goofy kid, and my mom, who subbed for his fourth grade CCD class, saying how he was the only nice one. As I got older, we never really got closer. When I became an altar server, I was put in his group. I was only nine at the time, but I remember him being really funny and making me laugh a lot. I was thirteen when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Although I didn't know him well, I remember being terrified. Quinn and I crossed paths quite often (pretty easy when you live in a town like mine) and he always had a smile. Always. Even as he suffered through chemo and countless other treatments, he always had a smile and a kind word. He was so full of joy.

Quinn taught me lessons that I never thought I needed to know, but now that I look back, I realize I did. Life's too short to live out the 'YOLO' mindset. When you're on your death bed, you're gonna regret stuff. It's life. But do you honestly want to regret doing something as stupid as drinking underage or doing drugs? How about regretting not climbing to the top of Mount Everest? Because I'm pretty sure that on your death bed, you're not going to be thinking, "Damn, I wish I smoked that weed that was offered to me back in high school and then got drunk and had sex with everything with legs." I hope that on my death bed, I'll have no regrets, that I'll have done everything I ever dreamed of doing, that I loved enough, and that I became the person I was meant to be. But chances are, I'm going to have regrets. But I know I'm not going to regret becoming best friends with someone who really changed me. I won't regret having the relationship I have with my mom. I won't regret being in plays, or reading a little too much. I won't regret being called a nerd.

But I do regret doing the destructive things I've done before.

As I look through the facebook posts being made about Quinn, I see one thing that every post has in common: They all loved him. Everyone has something to say about one thing he did at one point, something he probably thought was nothing. Everybody keeps talking about how full of joy he was, and his smile. And all I can hope is that one day, I can make a difference in someone's life like Quinn made a difference in so many.

RIP Quinn, and thank you.

Graduation pictures

my friend Allen and I

The balloons my dad got me!

my Physiology teacher and I.

My cap! Looks kinda Dr. Seussy. :)

Getting my diploma!

My creative writing teacher and I.

My best friend Gina and I :)

before the ceremony.

walking in

my friend Iliana and I.

my sister Sarah and I before the ceremony.

my English teacher and I

Mommy and Me!

We have such a special relationship :P

Class of 2012! WE DID IT!

my friend Tory and I.

Twas the night before graduation...

And all through my brain,
The only song that I could sing,
was 'Pomp and Circumstance'.

Yes, ladies and gents, tomorrow, at 6pm Eastern Standard Time, I will be graduating from high school. I'll shake my assistant principal's hand, smile at the camera, and toss my cap in the air, nobody actually understanding how happy I am. I don't know if I understand just how happy I am. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm excitednervoushappysadomgi'moldaahhh.

And I'm proud. I'm proud that I did it, and I did it with my head tall. And when I smile at the camera, I'll show that picture to my kids and say, "I almost didn't do it, but I'm glad I did".

And I am.

Thnks fr th Mmrs

Today was my last day of high school. I've been counting down the days since they announced the date, and now that it's here, I'm obviously kinda in the mood to reminisce. First let me start off by saying that I did not want to go to school. At all. A lot of homeschoolers, when they hit highschool, want to go. That wasn't me. I'm the type of person who is absolutely terrified of change, even if I'm unhappy with my norm. But I went. And it changed me, in some ways for the worse, in other ways for the better. I made new friends, some I think are lifelong. I learned who I was and who I didn't want to be. I learned how to push myself in ways I didn't think possible. Going to school was definitely positive for me. But, it wasn't always a positive experience. In reality, a good portion of it was pretty sucky. But now that I'm done, I've never felt more proud.

I can honestly say I did it. I made it through the tears, the anger, the fear, the constant anxiety and stress. I made it through the rumors, the hardships that came with being the new kid, and staying true to myself. 

And you know what? Those weren't the best years of my life. I have faith that God has something so much bigger and better in store for me than high school. But it was a learning experience. One that I'll never forget.

Catholics for Choice

So, I'm on facebook. And I'm Catholic. And I'm pro-life. So, obviously I've heard about the notorious facebook page known as 'Catholics for Choice'. According to their website, this is what they do:

Called upon time and time again for information, advice and skills building, Catholics for Choice helps people and organizations confidently challenge the power of the Catholic hierarchy which uses every means at its disposal to punish and publicly shame Catholics who don't unquestioningly follow its edicts. The hierarchy also seeks to impose its narrow view of morality ― and dangerous positions on public health issues ― on Catholics and non-Catholics around the world.

In other words, they don't like what the Church believes it and wants to change it. In today's day and age, 'Catholic' seems almost like a slur and synonymous to "narrow minded bigot". Here's my question: Why associate with the Catholic Church unless you want to? I'm a Cradle Catholic, and I've had my doubts and disagreeements about what the Church believes (I mean, who hasn't? the Church is infamous for her stances on controversial subjects, such as birth control, abortion and gay marriage.) but when I was confirmed, I stood up and said I believed in the Church's teachings and I would stay true to her. If you are a Catholic adult, chances are you did the exact same thing.

One common arguement I've seen on the facebook page is that God gave us free will. I'm not sure how to say my thoughts politely, so I'll just say them... well duh! Yes, God gave us choice! Why did He do that? Well, I dunno, maybe it's because He loves us? Yeah, He loves us and He wants us to make the right choices! Just because God gave me free will, does that mean I can kill my mom? No? Why not? Is it because I'm abusing the gift? Probably.

I haven't seen this arguement, but that doesn't mean it's not there. The Catholic Church is against lying, and you can't tell me you don't lie. Yes, the difference is that if you are repentant and sorry, you are forgiven. Catholics for Choice are clear that they see no problem in what they're doing (even though they repeatedly slam the bishops. Hey CFC, you know what the pope is?! And if you don't follow the pope... well, that's called protesting. Or Protestant. Not that I have anything against Protestants. I have lots of Protestant friends and love them all dearly.)

So, I'm rambling now. But overall, other problems people have with the Catholic Church is that they are against women priests, gay marriage, abortion, birth control, etc. Calm down, people. There are plenty of other Christian denomenations that find no problem in the above. I've heard they're pretty welcoming (and some are also very anti-Catholic). If you want to be a part of the club, you gotta follow the rules.

That's all.

Guys... I'm old.

Ok. So, I turned 18 in August. 1st sign of being old. I voted in November 2nd sign of being old. I didn't wait up for Santa on Christmas. 3rd sign of being old. I went to prom. 4th sign of... wait, what?!

Yes, that's right folks, I, Katlyn Marie F. went to prom on Friday, June 8, 2012.

I ate, I sat awkwardly on the sidelines as everyone else danced (wallflowers for the win, yo), danced a bit (lot of awkward hip shaking and jumping up and down), and all in all had a good time.

Post prom was more fun, though. I was hypnotized. It was weird.

On Wednesday, it's my last day of high school. Some people are sad, but I can't wait to get out of there and start my life.

Speaking of starting my life... I'm going to college! On August 22nd 2012, I will be starting classes at Mount Saint Mary's University in Emmitsburg Maryland where I will be majoring in (takes deep breath) English with a minor in Creative Writing while also getting my teaching certificate. Yeah, it's a mouthful. I am soo excited. Of course I'm nervous too, but that's totally normal. I think.

So, yeah. That's basically it. I've missed blogging, so I came back.

Can you outgrow Christmas?

Every year, my family goes to cut down our own tree. We fight over which tree to get, trudge up hills, and are tempted to chop a head off instead of a tree down. We go to eat pizza after, and then go home and decorate the tree, usually while watching some family favorite Christmas movie and drinking Hot Chocolate.

As my sister and I grew up, we became the ones putting up the lights and decorating the tree. Last night, it was just the two of us. Is a family tradition still a family tradition if your whole family doesn't do it?

The worst part was when I found out it was my turn to do the angel. "Ugh, I don't want to. Sarah can do it." "No! I don't want to!" Years before, Sarah and I would fight over who dad lifted up so she could put on the angel. My mom would put it on the calendar whose turn it was so we wouldn't fight. It was the best thing in the world. Now... not so much. As I stood on a chair and put our ancient angel on the top of the tree, all I could think about was how much it hurt basically standing inside a Christmas tree and how ugly the angel was. This morning, I realized how sad that made me. One of my favorite things about Christmas had become one of my least favorite.

I like to think of myself as a kid at heart, but last night, it showed me that no matter how hard I try NOT to grow up, it's going to happen. This led to many questions: Will I still want to wake up early on Christmas morning? Will I be as excited opening my stocking and eating candy right away? Will I forget the joy of Christmas?

Even at seventeen, I was waking up at 6, and looking in my stocking. There's something about Christmas morning that makes me so happy. What if I become one of those cranky teenagers who would rather sleep?

This time next year, I'm going to be stressing over finals. This was probably our last time getting the tree, all four of us. And that makes me so sad. My parents probably aren't going to want to cut down the tree next year, so we'll probably get a pre-cut one. That's okay... but we've maybe only done that once.

It's official. The worst part about growing up isn't leaving home or figuring out what you want to do. The worst part about growing up is outgrowing the magic of Christmas.

Reason number 739478 I'm glad I live in CT...

Rick Perry isn't my governor.

In this post, I'm not going to be directly attacking him (Even though he makes me want to SCREAM). Instead, I'll be saying my opinions on what he says in his "Strong" Ad. This is a disclaimer. If you don't like what I say, fine. Don't leave rude, anonymous (or non-anonymous) comments. If you disagree, and say it nicely, please, go ahead. I'd be happy to see your point of view. But be nice and courteous about it, please.

1.  Everyone knows that something is wrong with this country, no matter their religion or if they sit in the pew at church every week. However, that "something" is different to everyone. For me, it sickens me that we can kill people to show that killing is wrong. I think that this country at times has a God complex with that, but others disagree, and that's okay. Others think it's abortion, or gay marriage, or war, or economics, or health care, and the list goes on and on. 
2.  What Rick Perry sees wrong in the country in a nutshell are: a) gay people fighting in the military, b) kids not being able to pray in school and c) Not being able to say Merry Christmas. I have mixed feelings on the ending of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. But, I'll save that for another time. As to praying in school: I pray in school every day. I make the Sign of the Cross and say a Hail Mary during the Moment of Silence after The Pledge of Allegiance. I also pray before I eat lunch every day. Not once have I been prosecuted or been told "I can't do that". I've been teased by other students before, but not once has a teacher or the principal told me I couldn't pray. America has Religious Freedom, which means that OF COURSE I have the right to pray in public. However, this also means, that Joe Schmidt has freedom FROM religion, at least in a public school. We can't force him to pray. But we have the freedom to pray if we so choose. And on the topic of saying "Merry Christmas"... I always say Merry Christmas. Not once has someone freaked out on me or told me that I offended them. I've been told that they don't celebrate Christmas, and then proceeded to wish them a happy whatever they celebrate. Today, we spent the period in Spanish class talking about Christmas. My Spanish teacher is Jewish, and smiled and weighed in on what she wanted for Hanukkah. She wasn't offended at all. 

I think many people are exaggerating on the "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" issue. Not many people are offended by being told Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays was originally created to wish someone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 

Say what you want. Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Solstice! Happy Festivus! I wouldn't be offended if any of the above were said to me. Would you?

I end with a Christmas tree. Because... I like Christmas Trees.

It's time to play the music! It's time to light the lights!

Let me start off with HOW MUCH I FREAKING LOVE JASON SEGAL. He not only is one of the funniest human beings on the face of the earth, but a hysterical writer of comedy, too!

As you probably guessed, I saw "The Muppets". And it was FANTASTIC.

I actually don't have a lot of "history" with the Muppets. The only movie I've seen within the last ten years is A Christmas Carol (which, by the way, is my favorite version.). But, I love Jason Segal, Amy Adams, Disney and anything "little kid-ish", so I went.

I knew I'd love it, I'm just that type of person, but I loved it WAY more than I expected. What was great about it was that Disney successfully entertained an 18 year old, her almost 50 year old mother, and the five year old girl in front of us (and her parents, too). There was stuff kids would love, and stuff that teens and adults would love, like the different celebrity cameos.

Speaking of cameos, there were a BAJILLION cameos by famous people. To name who I saw:

Mickey Rooney
Neil Patrick Harris
Selena Gomez
Whoopi Goldberg
Sarah Silverman
John Krasinski
Jim Parsons (No words. No words.)
Jack Black
Zach Galifanakis
Emily Blunt

It was fantastic.

The music was phenomenal, kept you humming for the rest of the day (or three, in my case...) and also with a smile on your face.

I HIGHLY recommend that you see The Muppets, no matter what your age is. As long as you're a kid at heart, you'll love it.

College Visits

So, this weekend I went to go visit three colleges in the Virgina/DC/Maryland area.

Christendom College, The Catholic University of America and Mount Saint Mary's University.

The good (and bad) part is: I LOVED all three colleges. Here's a little "play-by-play" on what happened at each school.

On Saturday, we left and drove to Winchester, VA, which is about a half hour away from Christendom. Because I am SO smart, I forgot a blanket, so we stopped at a Walmart on the way and I got my future college bedding. It's cute, I know. It's also very ME.

On Sunday morning, my parents and I went to mass at Christendom. It was a lovely Latin Mass and the priest gave a wonderful homily about preparing for Christ's birth in Advent. After mass, I met my student ambassador and she took me to brunch. Then, I went back to her dorm and helped the girls decorate for the Christmas party that was that night. It was so much fun and the girls really made me feel like I had been at the school just as long as the rest of them. I went to three classes on Monday: Latin (the teacher was hysterical!), Literature (so interesting) and Theology (they were reviewing their midterm and discussing things I had no idea about. but it was interesting all the same.)

After my parents picked me up from Christendom, we went to go see the Muppets.

GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW YOUR LIFE WILL NOT BE COMPLETE UNTIL YOU DO IT IS AMAZING IT IS AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING!!!!

okay.

On Tuesday, we went to DC and got a tour of the Catholic University of America. The campus was gorgeous and IN DC!!! I LOVE DC so that is just amazing.

After that, we went to Mount Saint Mary's University. My admissions counselor let the cat out of the bag and told me I was accepted (with scholarship) before I read my letter. When I got home, I found out that scholarship was for $16,000. PER  YEAR.

So, now's the big question: Where am I spending the next four years of my life? It's a HUGE decision, exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

In Defense of Twilight

Okay... I know that Twilight is not quality literature like, say, Jane Eyre or Pride and Prejudice, but it isn't as awful as those trashy romances with the guy ripping the girl's clothes off on the cover. You know those paperbacks you can buy at used bookstores for $0.50? The ones that are basically softcare pornography?

Yeah.

Those are crap literature. Jane Austen and Shakespeare are quality literature. So where does Twilight fall?

This is my literature graph thing.

Crap Romance novels < Twilight < The Hunger Games < Harry Potter = Pride and Prejudice / Jane Eyre

Now, some people may disagree with me with the Hunger Games being below Harry Potter which I consider to be equalish to Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice.

I don't care. This is my blog. So MEH.

I don't find Twilight to be horrible, or immoral or anything truly evil. As you can see, it's definitely no Pride and Prejudice, but it's not the worst thing you can read. I'd much rather see teenagers reading Twilight than crap romance novel.

And no, it doesn't teach the same wondrous lessons as the bible or a saint's biography may, but in all honesty, it does teach chastity as a good thing and Bella is pro-life.

And yes I did see Breaking Dawn at midnight last night. And yes, it was FANTASTIC!

*peeks out*

Umm... Hi.

I LIVE! I blog more often over at my tumblr: Coloring Inside the Lines is Overrated . So if there's anyone still here, if you care, check out my tumblr.

But, I'll be saving the text posts and more serious stuff for Makes Me Smile, Because you know what? I've missed it.

Okay. I'm tired. So I'm going to bed. (Logical train of thought, no?)

Love,
Katie